A Sharing By A Sister in Christ

Posted: March 12, 2019 by CatholicJules in Testimonies

A wonderful sharing by a sister in Christ – Phyliss Lim

Peace be with you dear. I’d like to share the following with you for I know you have a cell group and hopefully it might help anyone going through what I have gone through…

Sunday I heard one of the best homily…reflected on it and realised that in this world that we are living, other than God, the only thing that is permanent is CHANGES. Many times I have been mocked with cutting words like..you call yourself a Christian? (When I don’t seem to do or say things that pleases them) I wanted to scream out loud that Christianity is a religion for sinners trying to be saints, and yes, I am a Christian and I am trying.

I find myself praying and praying for the same request and felt like God wasn’t going to answer me. Then I realise that every time I pray, I want my request to be answered the way I want…and when this doesn’t happen, many negative thoughts comes to my mind. Like God must have really turned a deaf ears to my prayers or like I am not favoured by Him etc etc

Then I come to reflect on the Lord’s Prayer, sentence by sentence and felt like kicking myself. Seems like all these while I have been saying that prayer without truly meaning it…how dare I say “Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.”
Overwhelmed with guilt, I told myself from now on, unless praying for others, I will be detailed in asking. But when it is for myself…I will just pray….
My Lord, my God, I abandon myself to You…Lord Jesus, You take over.

I don’t deny that at the back of my mind, the devil is busy replaying all the scenes of my miserable life…how much I am being despised, being persecuted, tormented with pain and sufferings…
It was like I had to stop meditating to rebuke the devil…but yet allow the memories of my late husband to continue playing in my thoughts. Maybe one day I will conquer that grief but, God forgive me, I am just afraid that if I let go of his memories, I will forget his voice, his smile, his smell, his touch and all that I once had of him.

I have been doing a lot of reflection…and I asked and answered my own questions.

ARE WE POOR
We have a God who was born in a stable.
ARE WE DESPISED
We have a God who was led away..he was crowned with thorns, dressed in filthy red cloak and treated like a mad man.
ARE WE TORMENTED BY PAIN & SUFFERINGS
Before our eyes, we have a God covered with wounds, dying in unimaginable pain.
ARE WE PERSECUTED
How can we dare to complain when we have a God who was being put to death by executioners.
ARE WE BEING TEMPTED BY THE DEMON
We have a lovable redeemer..he also was tempted by the demon.

While asking these questions. I recalled the words of St John Vianney…that is the answers I roughly remember.

Thus, the weapons in the spiritual struggles I find myself encountering are praying, fasting and to be watchful.
Victory is ours in Jesus Christ.

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