Watchmen Retreat 9-12 Nov 17

Posted: November 14, 2017 by CatholicJules in Life's Journeys

Two months from the vineyard retreat, I would wake most of the time at 4am to pray the divine office. But after a while I slipped to praying it off and on and much later.

I have been doing daily reflections on the daily readings now, for about 7 years but hardly ever read the bible on my own even though I wanted to. Thankfully I have folks around the world following by reflections otherwise I might have even, given that up when I sinned and did not feel like doing them.

I signed up for the Watchmen retreat immediately when it was launched, as I longed to grow deeper in the faith. As the weeks were drawing near, I found myself committing habitual sins once at least every two weeks. However because I was one of the facilitators for LISS and running reflections for my communities from time to time I found myself going for reconciliation practically every week. In fact to prepare myself for the retreat I went for recon on Wed 8th Nov just before the lunchtime EC. I was very disappointed with myself for continuing to slip so often and cried out to the Lord to help me. The message I received was very clear, I had not been dwelling on His Word and discerning His Will for me through scripture.

I left my smartphone at home and bought a dumb one, just so I could call my daughter Hannah on her birthday on Sat the 11th. I even bought a Malaysian SIM card months before. And so when they asked us to surrender our phones, I did not do so. In the end I decided not to switch it on at all for the sake of my Lord, even though it pained me not to call Hannah as I had told her that I would.

The first day as we were praying and reflecting, I received three very strong messages. “Stop comparing yourself with others, stop loving others superficially, love them with my love…. Unconditionally!” And “if I placed a little child in front of you with a message from me, are you humble enough to listen and follow my instructions?”

Later that day during Adoration, I saw visions of Saints with hands in an ouran position. I was prompted to do likewise with three fingers on each hand while the two remaining fingers on each were to be bent over more. I asked the Lord,”Is this position not reserved for the priests?” Then I was given the understanding that he wanted me to be a ‘priest’ in the sense of offering sacrifices for others and to be a bridge for them; to lead them to Him.

The next day after reconciliation, I was feeling a little lost on what I needed to do and how to overcome the moments where I succumb to being enraged with some or unloving towards them. Then during spiritual counselling I was reminded of the Lord’s words, “Father forgive them for they not what they do.”

I think I heard a message for ‘Julian’ that night during adoration but I guess it was not meant for me as I did not hear it, only the name being mentioned. It did not help that apparently there were two other Julians in the retreat. I had however another vision, this time of the Lord carrying a lamb over His shoulder and felt so loved that I wept.

Day three night during Adoration, again the message was very clear for me even though I had hoped it was for one of the other Julians. “Julian the Lord is waiting for you, to have integrity of heart and integrity of faith!” Then at adoration at the praying over the Lord whispers in my ear. “Anger and impatience are not my ways. In my time, not yours.” Needless to say it played on my mind the whole night and carried over to the next day.

The Sunday’s Eucharist celebration was awesome with much consolations poured out on us. Then later midway during father’s talk he looks at me and says,”Julian something is on your mind. Work at it”

Praise You Lord! Thank you Lord! Alleluia!

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