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Previous posts on homosexuality have raised some interesting discussions in the combox. What interests me is how some readers who are Catholic have such a non-Catholic understanding of marriage.

We are told that because George and Harry love one another and are committed to one another that this is the same thing as marriage and that they should therefore be allowed to be married.

However, romantic or erotic feelings of love are not the criteria for a valid marriage, nor are they pre-requisites. An arranged marriage in which there is no subjective erotic or romantic feelings of ‘love’ as popularly understood, would be a valid marriage (and if the history of humanity has anything to say about it–may end up be a very good marriage). Neither can feelings of ‘love’ be the sole criteria to justify for an action.  Note the adulterer who ceases to ‘love’ his wife and leaves her because he ‘loves’ his mistress. Regard the ethnic cleanser who ‘loves’ his country so much that he kills its enemies. Don’t misunderstand the argument–I’m not degrading love or saying it is a bad thing. I’m saying the romantic and erotic feelings we call ‘love’ are not what validates a marriage (or any other action). Moral judgements are made on more solid factors.

For Catholics, marriage is a sacramental covenant which springs from the order of creation. God created the mystery of man and woman. “For this reason a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife.” The nuptial relationship is bound up in the natural complementarity of the sexes and the intimacy between man and wife is part of this profound natural order, and from this intimacy new human life is created. The commitment that is expected within this marriage is one that reflects the eternal commitment of God to his people.

Thus St Paul speaks of the love that Christ has for his church and compares it to marriage. Christ is the bridegroom and the church the bride. Christ penetrates the Church with the dart of longing love which is the Holy Spirit. From this intimate union of love a new order of creation is brought forth. Because of the eternal, life giving nature of this covenant between Christ and his Church we believe that marriage is also a life long covenant between male and female.

We should be clear about certain things: to affirm marriage in this way is (by definition) to reject homosexual unions as equivalent. Nevertheless, it is possible to affirm that two men or two women might love one another very deeply. They may have a lifelong partnership and deep commitment. That friendship and commitment may be noble and good and true and self sacrificial. This is what the church has termed ‘friendship.’

However, the church has also rejected any idea that this friendship should be expressed through sodomy, and it (along with every other civilized society–even those that accepted homosexuality) have never pretended that such friendships were equivalent to marriage.

The reason people in our society push for homosexual marriage is therefore, a misunderstanding of what marriage is. Too many believe that marriage is the final culmination of a romantic and erotic relationship. They see marriage not only as a desirable contract of commitment, but most of all, they see marriage as a societal (and ultimately religious) validation of their chosen sexual behaviors.

Catholics are often accused of being ‘homophobic’–the new curse word that means we are afraid of homosexuals. I don’t think I’m afraid of homosexuals, although when someone comes on my combox and says that they want to stand on my head and not take their foot off until they have ‘squeezed some sense into it’ I have to admit that I get a little bit afraid. When I see what homosexuals have done to the good name of Senator Rick Santorum that makes me a little bit afraid.

But I’m not really afraid of homosexuals. I am, however, disapproving of homosexuality. This is not simply because I find sodomy repulsive. I disapprove of homosexuality because I approve of marriage. So instead of blasting homosexuals and homosexuality I wish to defend, support, explain and uphold the truth and beauty of sacramental marriage.

In order to do this, one needs to understand the fully Catholic teaching on marriage. Marriage, for Catholics, is a sacrament. It is a visible means of grace. In other words, through the physical actions and commitment of marriage God’s saving grace is active in our lives. Marriage is, if you like, a ladder to heaven. It is one of the ways we participate in our salvation. St John teaches us that “those who live in love live in God and God lives in them.” The human covenant of marriage is the most sublime and complete way for most people to experience the love of God. In fact, it is the most urgent and active and obvious way for most people to experience and participate in the grace-filled action of God’s salvation.

This sacrament–this means of grace–is something permanent and precious and life giving. It is a path to that self sacrifice that leads to eternal life. Within marriage God’s life and love exists in and through and with our human love sealed and made permanent through marriage. Like all the sacraments, it is, by its very nature, life giving and healing and forgiving. Through the sacraments our broken humanity is ransomed, healed, restored and forgiven. This is especially true of marriage with it’s drama of joys and sorrows spread over a lifetime. It is also especially true of marriage since only through marriage do a man and woman participate with God in the creation of new human souls.

Because marriage is such a beautiful, eternal, precious and fragile sacrament we love and cherish it. We also oppose everything that would break this precious, fragile and life giving sacrament. Divorce breaks marriage. Adultery breaks marriage. Pornography breaks marriage. Co habitation breaks marriage. Promiscuity breaks marriage. Contraception breaks marriage. Abortion breaks marriage. Child abuse breaks marriage. Homosexuality also breaks marriage.

The proponents of homosexuality will argue that it is all about ‘love’. However, their definition of love is “the freedom to have sexual relations with whomever I experience erotic and romantic emotions toward.” They may add to this an idea of “commitment” or even “lifelong commitment” but a moment’s reflection will show that these subjective and sentimental notions of ‘love’ can just as easily be claimed by the adulterer, the child abuser, the co habiter and the divorcee. The adulterer will claim that he did not love his spouse any more and loves his mistress more. The co-habiter will claim to be in love with the person he or she is living with. Indeed, the child abuser will claim to love the child and may even claim to ‘be in a loving relationship’ with the teen they are abusing. The promiscuous man about town may claim to ‘love’ each woman with whom he has a one night stand. The couple who are using artificial contraception will claim that they are doing so because they love one another and ‘can’t afford’ a child. Abortion has even been rationalized through ‘love’ by claiming that the person choosing abortion is doing so ‘because they love the children they already have.’

Therefore, some other criteria for ‘love’ must be established, and a Christian society has recognized that bona fide relationship to be the thing we call marriage. In marriage love is objectified and strengthened and clarified by a life long sacrament.

Does this mean that we must hate homosexuals? Some homosexuals may be aggressive and ugly in their campaigning. Some may be disgusting in their promiscuous and degrading lifestyle. They’re pretty easy to dislike, but there are heterosexuals who are disgusting in their promiscuity and degrading lifestyle. If we find some homosexual practices repulsive we also find some heterosexual practices repulsive. So that’s a red herring.

On the other hand a homosexual person may be gentle, loving, restrained and disciplined and loyal to one partner. This homosexual seems more acceptable and less repulsive. He or she seems like ‘such a nice guy’ or ‘a wonderful gal’. But a person’s niceness is not the criteria for moral judgement. Plenty of adulterers, divorcees, child abusers or mass murderers were charming and polite and ‘nice’. This again is a subjective, sentimental judgement and therefore a red herring.

Instead we return to the objectivity of natural law and conclude that the sexual organs are designed for a certain purpose and to use them otherwise in any way is deviant. Homosexual acts are therefore, objectively disordered, and according to this argument, so are many other sexual behaviors–of which we also disapprove. Marriage is objectively a sacrament, so likewise, any behavior which breaks marriage is something of which we disapprove. We do not wish for homosexual people to re-define marriage on their terms, but we also disapprove of the re-definition of marriage that has occurred de facto through contraception, no fault divorce, re-marriage, widespread promiscuity and co habitation.

Our response is to note all of these crimes against marriage objectively and then accept on equal terms all people–no matter what their sinful condition. Do we find some of their behaviors repugnant? So be it. However, our natural repugnance does not mean we should hate those people or deny them human rights. We still see each person as a son or daughter of God and we hope to offer to them, as we do to all sinners–the heart of compassion and the chance for redemption, forgiveness, healing, peace and life.

For that is what we wish for ourselves, who are also sinners and in need of the same.

VATICAN CITY, 23 SEP 2011 (VIS) – At the apostolic nunciature in Berlin at 9 a.m. today, the Holy Father met with representatives of the Muslim community in Germany. Muslims in Germany number around 4.5 million; 70 percent of them are of Turkish of origin while others come from Arab countries, the Balkans and Iran.

In his remarks to the group the Pope recalled how “from the 1970s onwards, the presence of numerous Muslim families has increasingly become a distinguishing mark of this country”. In this context he highlighted the importance of constant effort, not only “for peaceful coexistence, but also for the contribution that each can make towards building up the common good in this society.

“Many Muslims attribute great importance to the religious dimension of life”, he added. “At times this is thought provocative in a society that tends to marginalise religion or at most to assign it a place among the individual’s personal choices. The Catholic Church firmly advocates that due recognition be given to the public dimension of religious adherence. In an overwhelmingly pluralist society, this demand is not unimportant. Care must be taken to guarantee that others are always treated with respect. Mutual respect grows only on the basis of agreement on certain inalienable values that are proper to human nature, in particular the inviolable dignity of every single person”.

The Holy Father went on: “In Germany – as in many other countries, not only Western ones – this common frame of reference is articulated by the Constitution, whose juridical content is binding on every citizen, whether he belong to a faith community or not. Naturally, discussion over the best formulation of principles like freedom of public worship is vast and open-ended, yet it is significant that the Basic Law expresses them in a way that is still valid today at a distance of over sixty years”.

“The reason for this seems to me to lie in the fact that the fathers of the Basic Law at that important moment were fully conscious of the need to find particularly solid ground with which all citizens would be able to identify. In seeking this, they did not prescind from their own religious beliefs. … But they knew they had to engage with the followers of other religions and none: common ground was found in the recognition of some inalienable rights that are proper to human nature and precede every positive formulation. In this way, an essentially homogeneous society laid the foundations that we today consider valid for a markedly pluralistic world, foundations that actually point out the evident limits of pluralism: it is inconceivable, in fact, that a society could survive in the long term without consensus on fundamental ethical values”.

At the end of his address, Benedict XVI underlined the importance of fruitful collaboration between Christians and Muslims as part of the process of building “a society that differs in many respects from what we brought with us from the past. As believers, setting out from our respective convictions, we can offer an important witness in many key areas of life in society”, such as “the protection of the family based on marriage, respect for life in every phase of its natural course or the promotion of greater social justice”.

At the end of the meeting the Pope travelled to Berlin airport where, at 10 a.m., he boarded a plane to travel to Erfurt”.

Do you want to bring your loved ones closer to God?

A lot of people ask me, “Bo, please pray that my son (or daughter, or husband, or uncle, or friend, or classmate, or officemate) find God.”

       What’s the best way to bring your family and friends to God? 

What’s the best way to be spiritually contagious?

       I propose three simple but powerful steps, which I’ll share with you for the next three weeks.

       Step 1: Friend Them

       Step 2: Serve Them

       Step 3: Guide Them

       At the end of this revolutionary series, I pray that you’ll be very spiritually contagious!

God Still Uses Imperfect People

To Share His Perfect Love

       Read what Jesus said…

Matthew 28:19-20

Go, then, to all peoples everywhere and make them my disciples: baptize them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teach them to obey everything I have commanded you. And I will be with you always, to the end of the age.

I have a very big announcement to make.

Your mission in life isn’t to earn money.

Your mission isn’t to enjoy life.

Your mission isn’t to have a good time.

Your mission isn’t even to be happy.

All those goals aren’t bad. They’re good goals. (Yes, like any father, God wants His children to be happy.) 

But they’re not the sacred purpose of why you were born.

Your mission, my friend, is to make disciples.

I can hear you now. “Bo, you’re crazy! I’m not a priest. I’m not a nun. I’m not a preacher like you. I’m an ordinary Catholic.”

Ah, there lies your mistake.

There’s no such thing as an ordinary Catholic.

Every Catholic has a mission, and that mission is to make disciples. Your mission is to bring others closer to God.    

How?

Jesus is your model.

Jesus made disciples in a very special way…

Step 1: Friend Them

Here’s my big message for you today: The most powerful way of bringing someone closer to God is through friendship.

Look at how Jesus did it…

Mark 2:15-17

Later on Jesus was having a meal in Levi’s house. A large number of tax collectors and other outcasts were following Jesus, and many of them joined him and his disciples at the table. Some teachers of the Law, who were Pharisees, saw that Jesus was eating with these outcasts and tax collectors, so they asked his disciples, “Why does he eat with such people?” Jesus heard them and answered, “People who are well do not need a doctor, but only those who are sick. I have not come to call respectable people, but outcasts.”

Are You A Friend Of Sinners?

       I remember Anna telling me this story. 

Anna said that the moment she joined Light of Jesus (my community), she stopped having lunch with her regular lunch-mates, because they weren’t spiritually renewed. She ate instead with another officemate who was a member of Couples for Christ.

       Anna said she lost interest in her usual lunch-mates because their discussion was worldly. But with her new spiritual friend, they only talked about God. They spoke the same language. They quoted the same verses. They shared the same stories.

       But after one year, she felt like God hit her on the head. She heard God tell her, “Go back to your former friends. Love them.”

       Anna realized she made a mistake. So she went with her former lunch-mates again. And they told her, “We felt hurt that you suddenly left us. That we were not holy enough for you.” She asked for forgiveness. And they welcomed her back.

       Today, Anna is able to bring God’s Love to her friends. And some of them are now attending the Feast, our weekly gathering.

Annoyance or Acceptance?

       Let me tell you a sad fact: According to surveys, the longer a person attends church, the more he isolates himself from the unchurched.   

       Christians like Anna stop attending civic organization. She stops hanging out with her officemates. She stops joining the homeowners meetings. She stops attending PTA meetings.

       Instead, she meets only people from her church.

       Because she gets annoyed at non-Christian behavior.

       Examples?

o   “I don’t like their green jokes.”

o   “I can’t stand their cursing.”

o   “They believe in New Age stuff.”

o   “My old friends smoke. I can’t stand secondhand smoke.” (Daniel and his three friends were thrown in a burning furnace because of their faith, and we’re afraid of secondhand smoke?)

Suddenly, the proof of spiritual growth is “annoyance”. How annoyed are you at non-Christian behavior? The more annoyed you are, the more spiritual you must be.

       But this is nuts.

       Jesus ate with prostitutes, tax-collectors, and drunkards. You can be sure there was a lot more than cursing and green jokes when they gathered. But Jesus made them his friends. That’s why religious people called him a “friend of sinners” (Luke 7:34).

       He ate in the house of Zacheus, the chief tax collector.

       He allowed a prostitute to wash and anoint his feet.

The proof that you’re spiritually growing isn’t annoyance but acceptance. Here’s the real proof that you’re spiritually growing: If you accept sinners.  If you’re non-judgmental to sinners.   If you’re friends of sinners. 

Just like Jesus.

My Wonderful Friends Today

Today, I enjoy friends who are unchurched.

       Today, I regularly meet with people who would never enter a Church. I have a woman friend who’s never been to Sunday Mass for decades. Two of my friends are lesbians. One friend is in an adulterous relationship. And then there’s a New Ager who’s into the occult. 

       I love them. And I enjoy being with them.

       I don’t condemn them. Because I know that Jesus doesn’t condemn them.

       Guess what: Slowly, because of our friendship, they’re coming closer to God. 

       Oh, it’s exciting to see that happen!    

       Warning: Obviously, there are situations when you need to be careful. It may not be wise for a recovering alcoholic to spend time with his drinking buddies while they’re drinking. Or a recovering sex addict spending time with prostitutes. Be prudent.

What’s Your Greatest Evangelistic Weapon?

John 13:34-35

And now I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  If you have love for one another, then everyone will know that you are my disciples.

       How will people know that you’re a disciple?

       Not by how long you pray.

Not by how many Bible verses you know.

Not by how many scapulars hang around your neck.

Not by how many rosaries hang in your rear-view mirror.

       People will know you’re a disciple if you love like Jesus.

       And surprise, surprise! This same love will be your most important tool in winning someone to Jesus. I repeat: Your greatest way of bringing someone closer to God is your friendship.

Eleven Years Later

       When I was in college, I had a friend who I met for lunch almost everyday for two years. Let’s call him Bill.

       During those lunches, I remember trying to share my faith with him.

       But no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t seem to convince Bill to follow Jesus. He said he had a lot of doubts. He had many other problems and he wasn’t ready to commit. But even if we didn’t agree about spiritual things, we enjoyed our friendship a lot.

       We couldn’t talk about spiritual things (because we disagreed about them), but we talked about everything else: sports, girls, cars, girls, music, and… did I mention girls? (After all, we were college guys!)

       I dropped out of college and we lost touch. 

And I never heard of Bill again.

       Eleven years later, I was walking in a mall and guess who I saw—Bill! I asked him how he was, and he gave me the shock of his life. He said he was a Christian missionary!

       I couldn’t believe my ears.

       He then said five words that made my heart leap for joy. “Thanks for showing me Jesus.”

       For those 2 years that I was having lunch with the guy, it seemed like nothing was happening.

       But it was true.

       What showed him Jesus?

       Our friendship.

       Who Introduced Me To God?

When I was 12 years old, my father told me, “Bo, let’s go to the prayer meeting.” 

I walked in, liked it, and never left. As a 12-year-old kid, I fell in love with God, and my life has never been the same.

       People ask me, “One invitation from your parents and you said Yes?”

       Actually, I didn’t get one invitation. All throughout my life, Dad was already inviting me—in a very silent way—to experience God’s Love.

       How? By the power of relationship.

       When I was a small boy, I remember that Dad treated me special. Everytime he came home from work, he’d look for me.

Dad would invite me to jog with him.

He wasn’t a great jogger. We jogged around the car parked in our garage. 

After the jog, he’d sit down and make me sit on his lap. He’ll read to me 4 comic strips in the paper: Tarzan, Blondie, Beetle Bailey, and Peanuts.

       That happened every single night.

       I remember how during the day, I’d look forward to evenings.   Evenings were special to me. Because Dad came home and spent that precious one hour with me.

       That wasn’t all.

Every Saturday, my father would invite me out for a date. He’d bring me out for pizza. Or watch a movie. Or go to a toy store.

By relating to me in a loving way, Dad gave me a glimpse of who God is. If my father thought I was special, then perhaps my Father in Heaven thought I was special too. If my father liked spending time with me, then perhaps my Father in Heaven liked spending time with me too.

       Note: Dad didn’t talk much about God. He wasn’t much of a talker. His favorite word was “Hmmph.” I’d greet him, “Hi Dad!” and he’s grunt, “Hmmph.”

But by the loving relationship he had with me, I was slowly being “discipled”.

Be Another Jesus In The World

       You can bring your family and friends closer to God.

       How do I know?     Because God gave you a mission: To make disciples. 

       You don’t have to be a preacher, a writer, a singer.

       All you need to do is be a loving friend. By your friendship, they will experience God’s Love.

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

Now that the headline has caught your attention…

…The Daily Telegraph reports here on two lesbian women who went on a honeymoon trip after their homosexual ‘wedding’ and had a bad time because they were treated badly on account of their being two women who married each other. They are referring to their bad time in the Dominican Republic as Holiday Hell. Some holiday! Some hell!

One of the pair grumbled, “They just didn’t treat us like everybody else!” Errr. The fact of the matter is homosexual couples are not “like everybody else” they’re attempting to be ‘married’ when human history and human biology clearly indicate that marriage is between a man and a woman. A key fits into a lock to open a door. A lock does not fit into a lock–if you catch my meaning.

When homosexual couples claim that they “are like everyone else” it’s simply a lie. They might believe the lie, and sincerely propose the lie. They may enact legislation to make the lie acceptable. They might sue those who refuse the lie. They may punish those who do not accept the lie. Indeed the whole world may rally around to proclaim the lie and persecute those who refuse to accept it.

But it is still a lie.